Eden's birth announcement

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BABY!!!!

So apparently, when I wrote my last post about having another baby, I was already pregnant but didn't know it yet! :-)

We are just so unbelievably excited. I didn't even take a test until I started feeling sick, which was about 7 weeks. I finally got in to see the doctor yesterday. My original due date was April 7, 2011, but after the ultrasound they changed it to April 16. We did a quick ultrasound for dating, and also to see if they could tell anything about the baby's brain. According to the ultrasound tech, she couldn't see any abnormalities. Of course, I have no idea what she saw because it just looked like a fuzzy head to me lol! We still have to go in to see the perinatalogist to get another ultrasound, about 15-16 weeks, just to confirm everything.

I have been having a LOT of morning sickness. I have lost 20 pounds already! But, I already weigh more than I should, so it's really not that big of a deal. My doctor didn't seem concerned at all. The weight loss is nice, still, it would be nice to be able to eat without throwing up!

I just love the baby's picture. Baby was so cute on the ultrasound, wiggling all over while the tech was looking. God is SO good! :-)

So many people have asked us about having another baby. What a loaded question! It's hard to explain our conflict, and I don't think I've ever written about it, so I'm going to today.

When we learned about Emma's diagnosis, one of the first things they wanted to do was an amniocentesis. Now, if you don't know what that is, I will explain. Basically, they stuck a long needle into my belly to collect amniotic fluid from the amniotic sac. They used an ultrasound to guide the needle so they wouldn't hit the baby's head. I kept my eyes shut but Matt watched the whole thing. I think he was a little nervous though...he was standing the whole time but had to sit down at the end. Now, they told us that the amnio was going to determine whether the HPE was genetic or not. Well it came back normal, no chromosomal problems, so we were relieved. However, that is where we were mislead. Turns out these doctors don't really know too much about genetics. Thank goodness we went to see a genetic counselor after Emma was born.

The genetic counselor cleared up our misconceptions about everything. The amnio tested for chromosomal problems, such as Trisomy 13 or 18, which Emma didn't have. But what we actually needed was to test her blood for one of the four known genes for HPE. So we had a sample of her blood sent to the GeneDx lab, one of only a couple labs that does this kind of testing. They determined through testing that she had the SHH gene. They then determined through more testing that I am a carrier, and passed on the gene for HPE to her.

We were devastated! How could we possibly bring another baby into this world, knowing that he/she could either be a carrier or worse, have HPE? We were already worried about Nate. Through the advice of our genetic counselor, we ultimately decided not to have him tested. We just didn't want to take the chance! And therein is our dilemma...is this God's way of telling us we are done having babies, or is this God's way of telling us to trust Him more?

We still haven't figured it out...but we are leaving it up to God, for now.

4th of July

So this post is a little late, but it's the first I've gotten to actually sit down and write it.

This past weekend we went to Illinois for a family reunion on the 3rd. It was fun, good to see family again that we don't usually get to see. Nate was running around everywhere with his cousins, and having fun playing on the playground.

Both Nate and Nala enjoyed the fireworks. I was surprised that Nala wasn't scared of them, but we were pretty far away from all the noise, though we did have a good view. At one point she was waving to them lol!

Oh yeah, I don't think I've mentioned...Nala is our niece. She's living with us for awhile, though we don't know how long that will be. She's 11 months now, and oh so cute lol. She's getting ready to walk, she's very mobile and gets into lots of trouble. :) We thoroughly enjoy having here.

I'll try to add pics later. Haven't downloaded them yet and I don't have time to right now.

Swagbucks Swidget

So I was referred to this great site called Swagbucks. You earn swagbucks by searching through their search engine, filling out surveys, online shopping, special offers, and various other ways. You can then redeem them for lots of cool prizes...I've already earned 4 $5 Amazon.com gift cards. I am going to try to save up now for a bigger prize...but only if I can wait that long! LOL

New Layout, and New Resolve

I have changed my blog around. I put a new layout on it, and although it's not finished yet, I think it looks okay. I have also resolved to start blogging again. I keep saying that I will, but THIS time I mean it, lol.

But, not tonight. I am tired. It is WAY past my bedtime. I need some sleep. Here's a recent picture though, before I go. This makes me smile everytime I look at it. :)

random stuff

So, it's almost 12:30 a.m. and I am tired...but I just can't bring myself to go to bed. I have been thinking so much about my life in general. Completely random, I know.

So many things that I wish I had said or done, and even more that I wish I hadn't. Things I need to work on in my life. Things I need to work on in my home, lol. Weight I need to lose. Habits I need to form. All these things have been on my mind.

I miss my close friends. Most of them are hundreds of miles away. God brings different people in and out of our lives for a reason. I wish I knew why.

I miss my baby girl. I wish she was here with me, right now. I wish I knew why she's not.

I have a few regrets, I think that's normal. For the most part, I am completely content with what I have. I have a loving husband, an adorable and sweet little boy, a precious little girl that I have beautiful memories of, a kind and caring family, possessions that I don't need but God has blessed us with, a nice warm apartment that is filled with love, and caring and supportive friends.

No matter what random things come into my head, I can never forget the blessings that God has given. I am truly thankful that even in my darkest hour, I can cry to Him and He answers.

So much for my jumbled thoughts. I am getting sleepy now...